15 April, 2008

Yes, well...

another weekend passed, and now we're in a week again.

This morning as I was heading up to the train station I reminded myself how much I got written on the train commute back in 2000: most of Black Juice, reviewed afresh but vair-vair lukewarmly over here.

Anyway, I thought acidly to myself, 'There's no time to even write a haiku between here and Strathfield!' Which led to an outburst of not one but 5 haiku, plus one grabbed on the walk from Strathfield to work. Here is the best of them:
A train passed a train.
Between two full carriages
Glances crossed and slid.
although the apostrophe in this one's hard not to like:
Blue delphiniums.
Against an orange house wall
They practic'lly hum.
Does anyone know, is it okay to make stuff up in a haiku? If I'm not entirely sure they were delphiniums, am I allowed to put them in?


Blogger Kt said...

Hey Zorro!

Yes, you can make up the delphiniums, but you're getting a yellow card for that apostrophe.

16 April, 2008 23:51  
Blogger Susan Moorhead said...

Cross-eyed I staggered
over train tracks to pick up
the apostrophe.

I think you're allowed
to write haikus whichever
way that rocks your world.

Cheers :)

20 April, 2008 09:44  
Blogger james roy said...

At risk of getting all technical on your ass, there is no actual requirement for haiku to have a 5-7-5 structure. Beverly George, famed haikuist, tells me that you can have 3-4-5 or 5-8-3 or whatever you like, so long as it works. The main rule with haiku is that you either have a setup/title line, followed by two lines examining that line, thus:

families heading home
arms full of of showbags and toys
toddlers sleep in prams

or two lines setting up, followed by a "punchline", thus:

in the produce hall
pumpkins huge as kettle drums
that’s a lot of soup

The other thing that haiku are traditionally supposed to be about is nature, although that's no longer necessarily the case.

God, I feel like such a smartarse now. But my point is, you don't need to use that apostrophe anyway.

09 May, 2008 18:23  
Blogger james roy said...

But I really like your train haiku.


09 May, 2008 18:24  
Blogger Among Amid While said...

I dunno, Jim. I think it's easier just to go with the 5-7-5 rule than all those other ones. Though I do like your examples.

Face it, I'm just a lazy, frivolous person - I'm going with susan's rules, not the proper ones. :)

09 May, 2008 18:42  

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