18 April, 2006

Things not to call children on your blog

If it's your own child:
  • the child
  • the girl child, the boy child
  • The Girl/The Boy
  • The Kid
  • the daughter/the son

If it's someone else's child:
  • The Niece/The Nephew
  • [more to be added now that I have this list to add them to]

You may call any child any name once in the extremes of frustration, irritation or puzzlement (e.g. The Screaming Heebeejeebee, Spiderboy, Emily the Strange), but cute or angry names used over and over, or the above-type coyness (I understand why you might not want to use her name, but what exactly is wrong with calling your daughter 'my daughter'?) - they insult whichever child you're mentioning (even if 'the child' never reads your blog) and they make you sound oh so co-o-o-old.


Blogger chance said...


I read some people's journals and wonder if they hate their kids because the way they refer to them sounds so angry.

18 April, 2006 23:07  
Blogger marrije said...

Hear hear! And can we please also get rid of DD, DS, DH and all those silly abbreviations? They're not quite as bad as 'The Kid' of course, but still, bleh.

19 April, 2006 05:25  
Blogger TansyRR said...

I find 'Wife' pretty bad, even more than with the 'The' in front of it.

"Wife burnt the toast this morning. So I beat her with a stick."

I think the trouble is that an ironic tone of voice (evident when giving children pet names in person - we often call Raeli the girl, but in a fond tone of voice) is lost on the internet, as with email.

19 April, 2006 08:54  
Blogger Among Amid While said...

Chance: Exactly, or it strips the child in question of any identity of their own - they only exist as a factor in the blogger's life. I say don't mention them if you're not going to speak nicely.

Marrije: Yes, it's like 'Regz' or 'Rgds' as a signoff in an email. If you're going to be bothered to type the word, type the whole word. Sez Ms Cranky Pants. :)

Tansy: Yes! I nearly added 'the wife' or, eek!, 'hubby', but then I thought, wives and hubbies should be standing up for themselves. The children don't realise what's being done to them until they're 35 and in counselling.

19 April, 2006 17:40  

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