2 one-liners from Ellen Klages

Steven (on way home from restaurant): Call me a cab!
Ellen: You're a cab.

OK, maybe you needed a bit more context for that one, but I forgot it.

Spruiker: Do you know we're offering $1 dollar beers and $3 margaritas in our upstairs bar?
Ellen: No, but if you hum the first few bars, maybe we'll remember it.

She was just warming up for her auctioneering today.